


the nape of her husbands neck

by melliesgrant



Category: Girl Meets World
Genre: Angst, Cheating, F/M, Sadness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-07
Updated: 2018-01-07
Packaged: 2019-03-01 09:43:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13292193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melliesgrant/pseuds/melliesgrant
Summary: maya loves lucas, lucas is marrying riley





	the nape of her husbands neck

**Author's Note:**

> this is an old work i posted on fanfiction.net, and i honestly think the original version is better but here is my revised edition

They get married and she's the maid of honor. She stands behind Riley and looks in his eyes as it all happens, Riley’s back in her peripheral (the same back she’s been stabbing for years). They say their vows, promises of love and for better and for worse, and they say I love you. She watches, her blue eyes looking into his as he looks into Riley’s brown, and she’s never hated these words so much before.

Riley cries as it happens, Lucas smiles, and Maya tears up. She watches them say these words and right before they kiss he looks at her, one last look that only they know before he kisses his new bride, her best friend. She cries, and she tells everyone they're tears of joy, forcing a smile across her face as it’s stained with the tears running down her neck, quickly using her hands to wipe it away. 

She spends the rest of the night drinking, and she dances with Josh, and Farkle, and Zay, and Farkle’s the only one who knows why she’s gripping on him so tight with a glass of champagne in her hand.  She tries to get drunk but they cut her off, and when Farkle drives her home he knows she's sad and he knows why.

"It's all over now." Maya says, her feet on the dashboard of the car and her makeup running down her face, finally allowing herself the luxury of truly crying.

"I know." Farkle says, and he's not sure what else to say. Can he say he's sorry, when what they've been doing is terrible to Riley? Can he say it's better this way, when he's not sure it is? So he just leaves it at that, and Maya doesn’t blame him. 

She spends the night as his place, she does this often know, she hates being alone, and eats his ice cream until she falls asleep on his couch, and he’s getting used to carrying her to bed and tucking her in.

The next morning he makes her bacon and eggs, and she’s wearing his clothes and she still hasn’t wiped the make up off her face, wanting a reminder of what she’s done.

“I’m sorry for putting you through this, for making you keep this secret.” She finally speaks, a cup of coffee in her hand.

“It’s fine, Maya.” He responds, conflicted and confused as to how to handle it all. “I’m sorry he put you through this.”  


She holds back another tear and forces a laugh, self deprecating smile on her face. “Yeah, me too.”

He serves her food and sits down next to her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders as she rests her head on him.

At least they’ve got each other.

* * *

 

They're back from their two week honeymoon and are moving into their new apartment. Riley asks everyone to help them move in, and Maya dreads seeing Lucas but goes anyway, obligation as the best friend.

She doesn't know how she did it, be with Lucas while he was with Riley. It keeps her up at night, the guilt. How can she do that to her best friend? How can she lie to her, how can she love the man she's loved all her life? She thinks there's something wrong with her, but then again Lucas was part of it too and he married Riley. Now he's in a marriage rooted in lies and she's full of guilt.

They’re both horrible people, monsters of the modern kind, each others ruination and possibly Riley’s too. She’s starting to hate herself, but she plays along with the game she’s been playing for years.

She goes and she sees Farkle and Zay's cars already parked outside. She walks into the nearly empty apartment, only being filled with boxes and some furniture at the moment. This might take all day, and she knows it should be fun (if she can forget about him).

Riley notices her best friend and runs to hug her, shares tales about the trip, and the apartment. Maya listens, she laughs, and she misses when things were easier, when looking at her best friend wasn’t a symbol of the cracks in her heart and the tears forming in her eyes, when she didn't have to lie. They talk, and Zay makes a joke, and Farkle laughs, and Lucas is somewhere else. Maya's glad he hasn't come out and said hello yet, gone to pick up something, and she makes sure to leave before he comes.

* * *

 

She can’t ignore him forever, so they talk eventually, slowly but surely until they get to the closest they’ll ever be again. It’s no more banter and hugs in the bay window, but it’s civil and easy and makes it easier for the both of them.

They don't talk about it, and it's unspoken but they both know they shouldn't (not anytime soon at least). So the events they go to are easier, and they're fun, as long as they don’t stay together for too long. Things start to go back to normal, and she thinks about it less. She spends more time with Farkle and Zay, they go to Farkle's and watch movies and make fun of Lucas and Riley for being married so young. They only do this because they're all single and bitter and can only be this way with each other. In an almost self deprecating way she offers to watch My Best Friends Wedding one day, and Zay’s oblivious and has no idea what it means at puts it on. That’s a bad day, but they all are one way or another.

She can tell Riley is sad they're not spending as much time together as before, and she thinks Riley knows something's wrong. She sees Maya and Lucas’ relationship has changed, she sees Maya going to Farkle and Zay more for her problems, she sees her drifting away with excuses on why she can’t hang out and why she’s so busy. She feels bad, but it's for the best right now. They're in their twenties and Riley and Lucas are getting used to the married life and the rest of the group are still figuring their lives out. Things will be different, and it hurts them all, but Maya needs time to figure it all out before she can try to go back to the girl she once was.

* * *

 

It's months later when Maya's left alone one night and has nothing left to think about, Farkle’s out of town on business and Zay’s visiting family in Texas, and her mind is the devils playground. She doesn't understand how all this happened, and she's sad, and she's angry. She loved him, he loved her, why did this all happen? Why did her best friend have to stay in love with him? Why did he have to fall in love with her while being with her best friend? Why didn't he leave Riley? Why didn't she stop it? Why didn't she tell Riley?

Rhetorical questions never come to an end in her mind, questions with no answer, haunting her mind as she lets herself think of all the things she’s tried to push back for so long.

So now she's overthinking it all and she's drinking all her liquor and buying more. She wants to get drunk, she wants to get wasted, she wants to forget it all. So she drinks, and she goes to their house, a woman scorned desperate to relieve herself of her sins. She needs to tell Riley the truth, and she needs to slap him for hurting her and hurting Riley. That's what she has to do, then maybe things will be better, maybe  _she_ will be better.

So she goes, and by her luck it’s Lucas who answers the door. It’s Lucas who watches her, drunk and falling over, and it’s Lucas who cups her cheek and holds her upright as he asks her what’s wrong.

She hates it, and she wants to indulge it for a moment, missing his hands on her and his eyes pouring love she so desperately wanted into her soul. She slurs under her breath for Riley, trying to look for her.

"She's not here, she's visiting her grandparents and I had to stay for work." Lucas says, and Maya curses herself. Of course Riley was gone, of course she came when Lucas was alone, what else could she expect.

"Well I still got something to say to you." Maya spoke, slurring her words and walking into the apartment, out of the arms of the man she loves. She looked around at the room she helped set up, it was now a home for a happy couple, a home that she would never have.

She turns around to look at him, and she glares while closing the proximity between them. "I hate you." she says, pushing her finger on his chest.

He just stares, he doesn't know what to do or say. So he stays there and listens to her. "You broke my heart, and you married my best friend. You left me all alone. You let me live with this guilt. You're an asshole, you know that right? I hate you." She said, trying her best to have a bite with her words, and while it fell short on being brutal it hurt him none the less. Looking at her, eyes filled with hatred and heartbreak, targeted at him. It was breaking his heart, but what else could he have expected from his actions?

"I hate you, so much." she said, and she kept saying it. It was all she could say, so she repeated it until she accepted what was happening. She repeated it until there were tears falling down her face. She repeated it until he hugged her, keeping her up because she was so tired and just wanted to lay down.

She finally stopped, crying in his arms, her face in the nape of her husband's neck. Her best friends husbands neck.

"I'm sorry." he says, holding in his own tears and holding her close, his heart filled with regret.

All she can say is "I know."


End file.
